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Welcome to life on the Road! So what exactly is this section? This section is going to be a compilation of eats, stays and things to see along this nations highways and by-ways. We are truly dedicated to making you feel like you're along for the ride when OTF hits the road, so this is where you can check out local digs, good hotels(and some crappy ones)that we've come across out on the road and even some of our experiences out on the wild, wild FRINGE.
MOTEL 6
I just want to start here. Why? Because the "6" was one of our best friends in the early parts of the season. Its obviously not the Ritz, but a rooms a room when you're exhausted. The main thing with the 6...they recently remodeled all their bathrooms. One thing I personally cant handle is a crusty bathroom especially in a hotel. They have turned their once-creepy grout-n-gross shower stalls into what the OTF crew has affectionately come to know as "Space Shower". It is a vertical corner stall, somewhat shaped like a tube. As noted in episode one, "Fouke Monster", you CAN actually travel through time and space, and come out smelling fresh like an Irish Spring.
The "6" also afforded us quality entertainment on the Fouke Investigation. We were in the room on the first night finishing research when we heard what sounded like a cow walking down the sidewalk. CLOP clop CLOP clop.
Jordans eyes lit up as he proclaimed, "HOOKER HEELS!"
Sure enough.
It was one of the nastiest hookers you've ever seen.
"You know what room roofing crew is?", she asked in broken English.
We pointed downstairs. It was the natural assumption, since there were eleven roofing trucks parked down there.
We spent the next hour on the porch watching her go room to room. About ten minutes per room.
No lie.
Ahhhhhhhh...
Life on the Road.
As for Motel 6...All in all, they always left the light on for us. Its one of those things...not the greatest, but there when you need it.
Food in Texarkana/Fouke
Hmmm...Not much to say for this particular area. Nobody really turned us onto any kind of area-specific local cuisine. Usually we try to eat dinner at local places...owned by local folks. To get a feel for the area. We can go to McDonald's anywhere. Why not try out the hometown vittle's?
I will say this: There is a little dairy hut type of get-up in Fouke, just down the road from the Monster Mart. Its owned by two local ladies, and was honest-to-goodness one of the best cheeseburgers I've ever had. The onion rings and fries were pretty rockin' too. Just like an old school dairy hut should be.
From our Hornet Spooklight Invesitgation in Joplin, Mo.
Oh man. Im about to sound like a commercial.
In our first stay in Joplin, we stayed at the "6". Not much to say there. On our Second Investigation , we stayed at Baymont Inns and Suites. Which was better. But I'll get back to that. I have to get to the good stuff.
We were turned on to a little place in Joplin called "Pizza by Stout too" by a former Joplin native. We were in Joplin three nights. We had Pizza by Stout three nights. Im not kidding. It was the best pizza I've ever had...and I feel that Im a connoisseur of sorts when it comes to pizza. Everyone just amazed. To be honest with you...its part of the reason we went back to re-investigate the Spooklight. Seriously. On top of the amazing grub, they had like 100+ beers in the house, domestic and import, as well as 40 on tap. *note: I do not recommend drinking before an investigation...like you dont get enough grief from the cops, even when you're legal* Anyway, if you're ever in Joplin to check out the spooklight for yourself...check out Pizza by Stout. Its on Rangeline Road, maybe a mile or a mile and a half north of I-44 on the right.
Now for the Baymont. It was a decent stay for the money. It was comfortable anyway. and really close to Pizza By Stout. :D
From the Theorosa's Bridge investigation
We stayed at the Guesthouse Inns and Suites in Wichita West. Honestly, it was a good stay. Pretty nice, really quiet...only problem was it was about thirty minutes from Valley Center, which is where Theorosa hangs out on her bridge. Wasnt too big of a deal though. Wichita is actually a pretty cool little city, but they had construction on their main East/West going on when we were there. The driving was miserable.
Eats in Wichita. We were told there were many good local flavors, but we only had two nights in town. We found our way to Old Chicago Pizza. I believe its a chain, but not where we're from. I had never heard of it. It was great pizza...HOWEVER...it wasnt Pizza by Stout(Stout is the High-Water mark for OTF).
They had a good beer selection also, and it was a nice atmosphere.
Wichita was actually a fun trip for us...and Theorosas Bridge is public property...and not well traveled. We didnt have a SINGLE car cross during our investigation. So it may be a good road trip for some of you.
From the Dover Lights Investigation
The closest place to stay when checking out the Dover Lights is in Russellville, Arkansas. Its only about 20 minutes from the Dover Light viewing area. On this particular trip we stayed at the LA Quinta in Russellville. It was brand new. Oh man...it was the best hotel stay we had. Immaculate. We basically Stole the room through Hotels.com.
We tried out a couple of places for dinner, One of which was Colton's Steak House. Its a local place. It was decent. We were really disappointed considering what we payed for it. Additionally, they never brought us are complimentary rolls.
We also tried out "Dos Rios". It was Mexican(as you can imagine). It was pretty good, but the highlight was "Free Cheese Dip Monday". We just happened to be there on monday. It worked out well for us.
Hotels.com
Disclaimer* We are not sponsored by, nor affiliated with Hotels.com. So why this section? Because it was the only way OTF made budget, and essentially, season one.
Seriously, I set up an account after the first trip. My thought was there had to be some way to get better rooms for better prices. Turned out there was. Seriously, the La Quinta we stayed in at Russellville was a $139 per night room...and we stayed for half that.
The biggest reason I promote this if your planning on hitting the road to investigate, is merely this:
The front page asks "Where are you going?"
You reply.
It list EVERY room in town, by price, distance to attractions, star rating etc...WHATEVER you tell it.
It made life SO much easier for me when I was trying to organize these trips.
Texas
So whats up with this section? We didnt actually do any OTF episodes in Texas. Well, Folks, the producers of OTF are also the core members of Possum Valley Entertainment. We produced a history show before OTF, and with that, spent the better part of 2008 in Texas. I feel we have learned a good bit about the state the hard way, and unlike a Texan, will present it to you un-biased. If you dont see me write anything bad...well, its because my Mama taught me "If you dont have anything good to say, dont say anything at all."
On we go.
Fredericksburge-
This is an AMAZING town. Its in Texas wine country, so theres close to two dozen winery's.
Things to check out in town:
The Pacific War Museum. We spent a TON of time in there shooting for the other show. Its breath-taking. Its sobering. Its something every red-blooded American should see.
Fredericksburge Brewing Company. A brewery on the main street. They have great food, and they brew their own recipe for beer right there while you eat.
Fredericksburge Inns and Suites. HIGHLY recommended. Not only were they immaculate, but they were there for us when we had a family emergency during the shoot, and we were in a tight spot. They deserve your dollar. Trust me.
Enchanted Rock. Not far from Fredericksburge. BEAUTIFUL! A huge, ancient granite dome left over from volcanic activity. It is a State Park, and rightly so. Its a nice hike, and there's some great Texas Ranger history there.
Brackettville-
This one is interesting. Theres only one reason to ever go there...but its a GREAT reason...it is home to "The Alamo Village". For those unfamiliar, that is the full-size, fully-functioning town that John Wayne, the "Duke" himself, constructed to film the original "Alamo". We were blessed with the opprotunity to shoot there. Amazing.
But where to stay?
Fort Scott Springs Hotel.
Its the only place to stay. Literally. There is no other hotels within a hundred miles. The hotel in and of itself was a neat experience. It was a pre-civil war era fort, now decommissioned, and turned into a retirement community. Some of the original barracks have been turned into the hotel. It was very eerie. Looking back on it, probably good for some great ghost-hunting.
Where to eat?
The convienience store and a burger stand are your only options.
General notes on texas
If there is one thing I can and am willing, to say thats positive about that state...they have the best roads. Bar-none. Out of any state Ive been in. Well maintained, wide open and clean. You could be 400 miles from the nearest town, and come across a clover leaf on ramp where two roads intersect. In the middle of the woods. It happened to us.
One road to stay away from:
I-35
From Oklahoma City through Waco, its not that bad. You can get around Dallas fairly smoothly. From Waco on... well, when you die, if you dont make it to heaven...youre sent to drive I-35 in an old pinto, with no A/C, in August for eternity.
I have a friend who used to drive a semi for a company in Dallas. His route was Dallas to Austin Daily. He said after a year or so they figured out how to cheat and use access roads to avoid intersections and what-not...then it wasnt so bad.
I guess the moral of this is...If youre heading South from Dallas on I-35, find a big blue Werner truck, get behind it and hang-on. If you cant find such a truck, get out a map and take one of the county roads. You can get around on a route that follows reasonably the same track South.
When 'Eats' Go wrong
So, we're fresh off of the 2009 Honobia Bigfoot Conference and Festival shoot, and felt we had a story or two that belonged here in 'Life on the Road'.
We headed down to Honobia, Oklahoma on Thursday Oct. 1st, the day before the festival began so that we could put up our tent, settle in, and most importantly go up on the mountain with the TexLa Research team and the Mid-America Bigfoot Research team. We got the tent up, weathered a incoming squall-line(thats meteoroligical terminology for a fast-moving, ass-kicking storm), and met the research teams. Then we realized we had made a mistake.
To be quite frank, we forgot food.
Then we realized 2 more things:
None of the food vendors were open yet.
The only store within driving distance was closed.
This is the kind of thing that happens when your a 4-5 man crew trying to do the job that other shows use 30-50 people to do(yes thats a jab at other shows...you only WISH you were this kind of efficient).
Joe felt the need to save the day. He had brought a case of 10 year old MRE's. Take note...these things only have a 5 year shelf-life. But in the interest of my companions, and because I knew, ever-benevolently that YOU, the viewer would like to see someone try and eat this thing...I took one for the team.
It was no bueno.
Allow me to elaborate...I had to live through it...so must you.
I cant remember what I started with, but I know that the M&M's package had busted at some point, all of the M&M's had been crushed to powder, and that about half of the powder was white, as opposed to the dark brown it should have been. I attempted to eat some of the powder, dipping it much like you would skoal or Copenhagen(note* I dont dip...but Ive seen it done, so I tried it with the M&M's). It was sour. I didnt know chocolate soured. I opened the crackers and tried them next...they were very much like cardboard, and when I added salt to them at Joes suggestion, they just tasted like salty cardboard. Then Jorbo pointed to another package..."Theres the Cheese Spread for the crackers..."
Ok.
When I opened it, everyone within 10 feet immediately smelled it. It smelled like rotten flesh...like roadkill or gutted-fish in a ditch in August or something. It wasnt the proper color when I squeezed it onto the cracker...but the camera was rolling...and I cant dissapoint our fans...right?
I tried. I got like three chews in. I vaguely recall saying "Thats not happening" and then spitting it into a plastic bag I had on hand for just such an occurence. At this point, all of our new Friends down in Honobia were getting a kick out of this.
There were other things...that I honestly cant tell you what they were because they resembled nothing Ive ever seen...I dont know if it was because they were MRE's or because they were so badly decomposed. Or both. But I tried them all.
And finally, we tried the main course. It was beef stew. It came with a little chemical oven...just add water, stick in the meal bag...and ten minutes later you have hot food. Or something thats supposed to be food, anyway.
It had apparently rotted in sections. The first bite wasnt all that bad. And recall, I was hungry...So I took a huge bite the next spoonful...and apparently hit a rotten quadrant. Then I got another good bite, and then another rotten one...
and thats when I gave up.
Enough was enough, and I felt I had already tempted fate and my bowels. I actually figured I would be spending the night on the toilet, but to my suprise, that didnt happen.
Joe likes to point to that and say..."See?! There wasnt anything wrong with those MRE's!!!"
Whatever.
The moral here is twofold:
Eat your MRE's before they expire
and
dont forget to bring food when you're going to camp in a remote location.
No 'Space Showers' in Honobia
No sir.
There were showers there, as this was a church camp property...but they were communal, absolutely disgusting...like you come out dirtier than when you went in AND there was no hot water.
It amounted to three stinky men, sleeping in the same stench-ridden tent, without showers for three solid days.
I actually took a "sponge bath" with baby wipes on the third day...even "washed" my hair with them.
This secton is updated periodcally
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